Part 3: The Money Trail of Desires

 Lets get at it…

In part 2 you learned that my husband and I purchased something major – a 28-foot camper, complete with a 30-year loan (like a mortgage, really).

In a short period, we went from thinking it was completely insane and frivolous to do such a thing, to realizing it was exactly what we desired – more freedom.

It’s the “in between” where the magic happens.

I’ll share with you exactly what happened to our experiences, beliefs, conversations, thoughts and conclusions during that time in the next section.

Because before talking about how to link desires to your photography products and services so you can become a Desire Director instead of an Avatar Chaser, we first need to know something very important…

How do you know what your potential client has a deep desire for?

Because if you link something that isn’t actually a deep desire, this won’t work.

First, a quick definition.

A desire is:

It can be something they WANT. A feeling, a mentality, a way of life.

It can be getting away from something they DON’T want. The desire to NOT experience something again.

It can be a goal they are trying to attain.

A desire is NOT the actual product or service.

It’s what they believe the outcome will be when they purchase the product….the OUTCOME they want is the desire they want.

Follow the Money Trail

Now we know what a desire is, and is not.

So I have a quick assignment for you.

It shouldn’t take more than 5-10 minutes.

Though you could grab a coffee or glass of wine and really dig in deep if you please.


Open your online banking, credit card statements, or your checkbook.

Anything where you can see at least the last 2-3 months worth of purchases.

I would recommend doing this with your personal accounts, because it will transition better with your customers desires, but you can also do it with your business accounts.

This is your own little “Trail of Desires.”

Every single thing you purchase, whether it’s a mortgage payment, overnight shipping on your print orders, or spatula, has some sort of desire attached.

What we need to do is go down the “why” rabbit trail.

We’ll use the “5 Why’s” to determine the REAL desire of purchases.

A: Pick or highlight your 2-3 largest payments/purchases you’ve had.

This is often mortgages, daycare bills, car payments, or a big vacation.

B: Choose a pattern of small things you purchase.

For example: are you going out to coffee with friends every week ($8/time or so)

Or maybe you’re addicted to buying lip gloss.

For men, well, it’s a bit outside of my realm. But if I think of my husband, he is always at the hardware store.


C: Ask yourself WHY you purchased that.

D: Then as yourself WHY 5 more times, to get to the root desire

E: Do this with your big purchases, and the pattern(s) you found.


One of our largest purchases every month is our home mortgage.

WHY did we buy our home?

We bought our home, which is a duplex, because we were having a new baby (our 3rd) and WAY outgrew our last place.

WHY did we buy THAT home?

I had the dream of a giant house with a giant yard…but we realized the smarter choice would be to purchase a duplex instead.

WHY did that seem like a smarter choice?

Because we could rent out half and use that money to help pay the mortgage.

WHY was that important to you?

Because we knew we couldn’t afford our “dream home” at the time, and so this would give us the freedom to purchase our dream home when we had the money, while also making rental income.


Because we wouldn’t feel tied down…we wouldn’t be the slave to a house that we couldn’t leave.

Why was that important to you?

Because we knew at some point we may want to live abroad, or move, or even buy our dream home. This would give us our own home, that would give us the freedom to move about in the future while getting rental income.


As you can see – CLEARLY for my husband and me a big deep desire is freedom.

However – can you see how if we only go a few “why’s” down, it seems like our desire is residual income through investment properties?

But money is NEVER the deep desire.

Money is the what people believe will GIVE them the desire they seek.

In our case, freedom…

Your homework:

Go through the exercise above, and reply back with what you’re seeing  s your ONE deepest desire, and the money trail that came before it.

This homework should enlighten you on what your potential clients REALLY desire.

As you start to understand your own behaviors and desires, you’ll start to understand how your clients think, act, and why they buy the things they do.

OK, this CLEARLY is longer than I thought it would be – SHORTER tan the other two, but still long-ish!

In the next part we’ll be putting it all together…

I’ll be opening the kimono about Desire Linking, and how the process works.

<< Back to Part 3

Side Note:

Sorry you didn’t get to see any of my amazing Sharpie sketches in this section…there will be more in the next section, promise 😉